shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i barfeds in our rink
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
