my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
dude. I can hear the air.
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