just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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