I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
