i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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