At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she smelled like a LAN party
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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