So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
