thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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