Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize