Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you win again, gameday.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
