Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
