At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
