you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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