It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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