Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
