The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
