The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
