I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
