Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
