Quick, to the slutcave!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
