he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize