walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
