I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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