Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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