Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so that wasnt chicken after all
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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