Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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