Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize