Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
