Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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