Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
