Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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