nutella sex= disaster
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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