GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Acid is not a monday night drug
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
