i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
