just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
