I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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