Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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