it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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