Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Life is so much better after having sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
