addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
