I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
