I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
