none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
