its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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