I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
