i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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