People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
