Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
