I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
