so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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