What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
