He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
