Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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