the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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