Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
