I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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