I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
